Congratulations, they are finally divorced!
if life is a spiritual practice, then marriage is the greatest ashram.
recently, the popular broadcast of "Goodbye to Love" on Reality Show, a kind of marriage documentary observation, has aroused discussion among netizens.
the program invites three couples facing emotional crisis:
Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie, who are planning to divorce;
Guo Keyu and Zhang he, who have been divorced for one year;
Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong, who are in the cooling-off period of divorce.
they began an 18-day trip to re-examine the broken marriage and finally decide whether it is "good-bye, lover" or "see your lover again".
program boldly tore open the fig leaf of marriage and moved the real marriage to the camera.
not only records the marital difficulties faced by three couples, but also reveals the cruel truth in countless marriages!
the giant baby of "wife and precious boy" exhausts the other half
Wei Wei and Tong Chenjie, who are planning to divorce, are a couple who have been married for seven years and love each other.
when they first made their debut, the two appeared hand in hand and dressed in lovers' costumes, making people think that they were on the wrong set to take part in love variety shows.
but with the continuous progress of the program, the contradiction between the two people becomes more and more clear.
Wei Wei has always wanted to have a child, but Tong Chenjie doesn't want to have a child because Wei Wei has a bad habit of drinking, which seriously affects her life.
Tong Chenjie even said bluntly, "as long as you quit drinking for one year, I will have a baby."
but Wei Wei is not. Every time he hears his wife ask him to stop drinking, he always tries to avoid it and never responds directly to his wife's request.
he even thinks that drinking is a hobby and his wife should respect him.
program, everyone is pitching a tent, and he is the only one who sits leisurely in a chair and eats snacks without any intention of participating.
Tong Chenjie also seems to be used to this pattern. After tossing about there for a long time, Tong Chenjie called him: little friend, come and give me a hand.
and Wei Wei's mantra is "wife, I can't handle this."
in fact, it is not difficult to see that it is almost Tong Chenjie who takes care of Wei Wei when they are getting along.
being relied on for a long time, taking care of her husband like coaxing a child makes Tong Chenjie particularly hard.
but Wei Wei did not think so, and even made astonishing remarks that refreshed the values of countless people:
"on the surface, it looks like she takes care of me, but in fact, I'm trying to get her to take care of me."
"it's not that I can't cook. If I cook, what does she do and she has nothing to do, she has no sense of accomplishment."
I made her feel that I couldn't live without her.
the guest teacher Ni Ping was amazed: "Oh, my God, I heard this view for the first time when I was 60 years old."
for Tong Chenjie, her husband's immaturity and lack of responsibility made her unable to find sense of security in this marriage.
usually coax her husband is already very tired, if you have children, do you want to coax two "children"?
she doesn't want to live a widowed parenting life, and they can't bear the responsibility of parenthood.
maybe what Wei Wei doesn't understand is that what Tong Chenjie wants is a responsibility.
drinking is the trigger for marital problems, and children's problems are only superficial. In the final analysis, it is the inequality that two people give and receive in a marital relationship.
as John Gottman said in Happy Marriage:
he likens the relationship between husband and wife to an account, and every emotional interaction between husband and wife is like saving money into this account.
the efforts of one person cannot support the marriage of two people.
A good relationship needs to go both ways.
matching your own efforts with each other's needs is the key to a long-term marriage.
Marriage without love is doomed to drift away
Zhang he and Guo Keyu are the most difficult couple for me. They have been married for ten years, and now they have been divorced for a year.
at the beginning, the two got married after knowing each other for a month, and without getting to know each other in depth, they hastily lived under the same roof.
at first, the reason for deciding to get married was not because of love, but because it was appropriate, because it was "necessary" to get married.
even the reunion after divorce, the two sides are full of estrangement and indifference, as if they were the most familiar strangers.
at the invitation of the program group, the two traveled for the first time.
as soon as we met, the atmosphere was very awkward, and Guo Keyu and Zhang he made it clear in their eyes and movements to "avoid".
when pitching a tent, one approaches, the other immediately walks away, subconsciously keeping a distance from each other.
Guo Keyu tried to talk, but Zhang he just didn't pick up the stubble and turned his eyes to talk to others.
even if the two sides sit down to chat, the relationship has not been eased, always tense, hurt each other, no one will let the other.
Guo Keyu said frankly, "he can't enter my world, and I don't really want to go to his world."
Zhang he refused to bow his head and poked the sore spot: "she said I don't understand her world. I really don't understand it, but I don't want to go either."
Zhang he could not help saying harshly: "if we had known to leave earlier, would it take ten years for us to leave earlier?"
Guo Keyu can only respond in silence, trying to calm down and hold back tears.
between them, there is no basis for love, just to make a living together, such a marriage is doomed to hide.Big risk.
even if you live under the same roof, very different habits and hobbies. These differences separate each other from their own world.
in the end, marriage leaves each other with deep loneliness.
I agree with Shen Yipei in the program: "Don't overestimate your tolerance for marriage without love."
Love without material is a plate of loose sand, but marriage without love does not even have sand.
how many people walk into marriage just because it is appropriate, only to find that loneliness is their most real state.
Marriage is supposed to be a bond for two people to accompany and depend on each other, not shackles for each other.
I hope we can all understand that only the love that should be married is not the age that should be married.
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Don't wait to come to a dead end to regret your choice.
if it is doomed to fail to reach the end, bless each other and put an end to the "misplaced" relationship is the best choice.
program, Zhang he, standing on the cliff, shouted:
"Guo Keyu, thank you for the past ten years, and you must live the way you like in the future."
Marriage is not necessarily for happiness, but divorce must be
the last couple are Wang Qiuyu and Zhu Yaqiong, who have gone through divorce formalities and are in a cooling-off period of divorce.
after seven years of marriage together, they divorced once, but after divorce, Zhu Yaqiong found that she was pregnant and had no choice but to get back together again.
but in the process of recombination, they found that there were still many insurmountable gaps between them.
Zhu Yaqiong wants respect, affirmation and love, while Wang Qiuyu has been avoiding and maintaining indifference, so the contradiction between the two has been escalating.
in the
program, singer-born Zhu Yaqiong likes to write songs. when everyone gets together to chat, Zhu Yaqiong takes out her guitar and sings a song she wrote when she missed Lao Wang.
the guests present were intoxicated with her singing, and the scene was very warm and cozy.
but when the guest next to him asked about Wang Qiuyu's comment, Wang Qiuyu said with a straight face, "I still don't feel it."
the cold and hurtful language suddenly made the atmosphere very awkward.
Wang Qiuyu explained that this is not the first time I have heard this song. I was already moved at that time, and listening to it again is a waste of time and meaningless.
even commented on the lyrics of the song, "if you change the word, the song will be popular."
his speech made several guests present could not help shaking their heads, but Zhu Yaqiong looked like she had already seen through.
because she knows very well that Wang Qiuyu has never affirmed her before, let alone now.
after all, at the most important moment of her life, Zhu Yaqiong did not hear a word of praise or praise from Wang Qiuyu.
when they got married, because Wang Qiuyu didn't like the sense of ceremony, he thought it was a waste of time to hold a wedding, so they simply got a license.
on the day of obtaining the license, Zhu Yaqiong, who was beautifully dressed, originally wanted to give Wang Qiuyu a surprise and waited for him to praise himself, but what she received was Wang Qiuyu: "you are so ugly!"
this sentence "you are so ugly" is like a basin of cold water, which instantly extinguishes Zhu Yaqiong's fiery heart.
how humble does it take to love someone in order to endure being denied and suppressed all the time?
Zhang ailing once said:
"to love someone is that I become very low in front of you, as low as dust. But I like it in my heart, and flowers come out of the dust. "
this is the case with Zhu Yaqiong.
but she forgot that she is not the seed of a flower, even if it takes root in the earth's crust, it will not blossom.
after the end of the first episode, Zhu Yaqiong still chose divorce.
after seven years of marriage together, she finally realized that that kind of life was not what she wanted.
leaves do not turn yellow in a day, disappointment does not accumulate in a day, when enough disappointment is saved, it is time to leave.
in fact, people grow up through constant trial and error. If you try right, go on, try wrong and start all over again.
I am afraid. I keep spinning around in the wrong marriage and end up tortured all over the body.
Marriage is supposed to be happy. If you feel unhappy, leaving bravely is the best outcome.
as Zhu Yaqiong said, marriage is not necessarily for happiness, but divorce must be for happiness.
▽
what is a good marriage?
Yang Lan's sentence gives the best answer:
"in addition to love, you have the loyalty of treating each other with all your heart, the tacit understanding that you never give up, the growth you have nurtured together, and the unforgettable kindness."
if life is a spiritual practice, then marriage is the biggest ashram.
We must understand that a good marriage is always a play between two people, and only by going back and forth can we write this story.
, for the rest of my life, may you and I both have the wisdom to run a good marriage, and the people we love most, achieve each other, be noble to each other, and jointly create a happy and happy marriage.
program, singer-born Zhu Yaqiong likes to write songs. when everyone gets together to chat, Zhu Yaqiong takes out her guitar and sings a song she wrote when she missed Lao Wang.
the guests present were intoxicated with her singing, and the scene was very warm and cozy.
but when the guest next to him asked about Wang Qiuyu's comment, Wang Qiuyu said with a straight face, "I still don't feel it."
the cold and hurtful language suddenly made the atmosphere very awkward.
Wang Qiuyu explained that this is not the first time I have heard this song. I was already moved at that time, and listening to it again is a waste of time and meaningless.
even commented on the lyrics of the song, "if you change the word, the song will be popular."
his speech made several guests present could not help shaking their heads, but Zhu Yaqiong looked like she had already seen through.
because she knows very well that Wang Qiuyu has never affirmed her before, let alone now.
after all, at the most important moment of her life, Zhu Yaqiong did not hear a word of praise or praise from Wang Qiuyu.
when they got married, because Wang Qiuyu didn't like the sense of ceremony, he thought it was a waste of time to hold a wedding, so they simply got a license.
on the day of obtaining the license, Zhu Yaqiong, who was beautifully dressed, originally wanted to give Wang Qiuyu a surprise and waited for him to praise himself, but what she received was Wang Qiuyu: "you are so ugly!"
this sentence "you are so ugly" is like a basin of cold water, which instantly extinguishes Zhu Yaqiong's fiery heart.
how humble does it take to love someone in order to endure being denied and suppressed all the time?
Zhang ailing once said:
"to love someone is that I become very low in front of you, as low as dust. But I like it in my heart, and flowers come out of the dust. "
this is the case with Zhu Yaqiong.
but she forgot that she is not the seed of a flower, even if it takes root in the earth's crust, it will not blossom.
after the end of the first episode, Zhu Yaqiong still chose divorce.
after seven years of marriage together, she finally realized that that kind of life was not what she wanted.
leaves do not turn yellow in a day, disappointment does not accumulate in a day, when enough disappointment is saved, it is time to leave.
in fact, people grow up through constant trial and error. If you try right, go on, try wrong and start all over again.
I am afraid. I keep spinning around in the wrong marriage and end up tortured all over the body.
Marriage is supposed to be happy. If you feel unhappy, leaving bravely is the best outcome.
as Zhu Yaqiong said, marriage is not necessarily for happiness, but divorce must be for happiness.
▽
what is a good marriage?
Yang Lan's sentence gives the best answer:
"in addition to love, you have the loyalty of treating each other with all your heart, the tacit understanding that you never give up, the growth you have nurtured together, and the unforgettable kindness."
if life is a spiritual practice, then marriage is the biggest ashram.
We must understand that a good marriage is always a play between two people, and only by going back and forth can we write this story.
, for the rest of my life, may you and I both have the wisdom to run a good marriage, and the people we love most, achieve each other, be noble to each other, and jointly create a happy and happy marriage.