It often takes only three words to ruin a relationship.
Timely communication and communication will keep the feelings fresh and make love warm up.
beishu2016 Do you know how many results there will be if you enter "cold violence" in Baidu? The answer is: 100 million. Baidu encyclopedia says: Cold violence is a kind of violence, which causes others to be violated and hurt spiritually and psychologically through indifference, contempt, laissez-faire, alienation and indifference. In feelings, people who often use cold violence are mostly people who evade problems, do not want to face, do not want to solve, do not want to take responsibility, so they use silence to deal with it. As everyone knows, cold violence hurts people invisible, and it hurts the heart the most. When love encounters cold violence, we must not let it go, face it bravely and solve it positively in order to communicate healthily and make the tree of love evergreen. Calmness is not cold violence. When you encounter emotional problems, you can naturally calm down first, let reason return, and then solve it. But the calm without response and action for a long time is actually cold violence. The other party pretends to be magnanimous and gives you a chance to reflect, but the truth is wordless harm. What I fear most in a relationship is not a quarrel, but a cold violence that cannot be quarreled. Some people say: "Cold violence is the most childish and cruel way in a relationship." I think so. They unilaterally judge the other half's punishment, do not accept rebuttal, do not allow arguments, until he needs you, and appear as if nothing had happened. Just like some people, they have been subjected to cold violence by their predecessors again and again, and there is nothing they can do but to accept passively. In fact, in a relationship, calmness is an effective way to deal with problems, it means that I will not quarrel with you, but I will care about you, care about you, listen to you. We are calm, communicate with each other, even if we can not accept each other's point of view, but also respect each other's speech, over a long period of time, the feelings will become stronger and stronger. On the other hand, cold violence uses silence instead of voice, does not speak, does not accept the other party's speech, ignores everything in the eyes, and is so cold that people are shivering and repressed. The so-called love is that I want to talk, you just want to hear; I want to vent, you just want to be a tree hole. People who love each other can be calm, but don't be cold and violent. Cold and violent just because I don't love anymore. In the movie "No questions about the West and the East," Xu Bochang and Liu Shufen grew up together. Xu Bochang was determined to study, and Liu Shufen wholeheartedly earned money to support him. Xu Bochang thanked Xiao Qingmei for her service and promised to marry her and take care of her for the rest of her life. However, the human heart is changeable, and Xu Bochang, who has seen the world, has a light in his eyes and yearns for a soul mate who can better match his intellectual identity. Sure enough, he was not surprised to fall in love with someone else. When Liu Shufen, who was determined to marry, found out, she angrily went to school with a knife and forced her to die. Xu Bochang had to marry her. However, they are not happy at all after marriage. In order to express his dissatisfaction with his marriage, Xu Bochang has been using cold violence against his wife. Although the two live in the same room, everything is used separately, eat at different tables, and do not talk in the same room. Having been married for many years, Xu Bochang never even touched his wife. Even if Liu Shufen left good food to her husband, she only drank pickles in boiling water and washed clothes for her husband to do housework, the neighbors were moved, but Xu Bochang was indifferent. Unable to bear it, Liu Shufen questioned her husband: "it was you who said you would be good to me for the rest of your life." But Xu Bochang's answer is: "at the beginning, can't people change?" In the end, Xu Bochang's indifference forced his wife to jump into a well to commit suicide, and he felt guilty for the rest of his life. Such an outcome is all sentimental, in the final analysis, just because Xu Bochang no longer loves Liu Shufen. Because do not love, so indifferent; because do not love, so ignore. They are under the same roof, but they seem to be in different worlds, seeing each other, but pretending not to see them. In this loveless marriage, they neither leave nor speak any more. The family, which should be happy, is as cold as a freezer. Those who love you are too late to feel sorry for you and are reluctant to use cold violence against you. In a happy marriage, love must be two-way. You wash your hands and make soup for me, and I hold up a day for you. Tolerance and understanding can melt cold violence. In marriage, once there are differences, they will be put aside, and the more they go on, the more serious the problem will be. As the saying goes: "couples who love again have 100 thoughts of divorce and 50 impulses of strangling each other in their lives." We can't avoid the conflicts in our marriage, and when we are angry, we are even more open-mouthed and hurt. It is not easy for anyone to vent his temper for a moment and break his temper and get hurt. If we could identify the original intention of the quarrel at this time in order to solve the problem, to be more understanding and tolerant of each other, and to sit down and communicate well, there would certainly be no cold violence. The so-called love is to love each other, quarrel is inevitable, know how to give each other steps after a quarrel, is a good reunion. Marriage is not the grave of love, cold violence is, it nibbles away our feelings bit by bit, long-term cold violence is tantamount to a kind of spiritual abuse. As the old saying goes: "A kind word warms the winter in three winters." Timely communication and communication will keep the feelings fresh and make love warm up. Remember, even the best feelings can not withstand warm water boiled frogs, only face the problem squarely, do not evade, rational solution, is the right way.
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