The heart-wrenching truth of marriage: you will eventually marry the wrong person
Marriage is a moment, but marriage is a lifetime.
broadcast children read aloud Audio frequency There is such a topic on Weibo: "what on earth does it mean to get married?" A highly praised comment said: "Marriage is just a grand confession and ceremony to get a thin certificate." At the moment of marriage, when I saw the person who said "I do", happiness seemed to be within reach. But the truth is that life after marriage is very different from what we expected, and we always doubt whether we made the right choice. In countless times of asking myself, I want to tell you the heart-wrenching truth of marriage: "No matter who you marry, your choice will be wrong." Once attended a love and marriage healing lecture, the teacher did an interesting experiment. All the people were divided into three groups, one group was madly in love, and the other two groups were married for less than one year and more than one year respectively. Everyone takes a pen to write down your partner's strengths and weaknesses, plus 10 points for strengths and weaknesses, and deducts 10 points for weaknesses. Finally, calculate whether your partner's score is positive or negative in your mind. The experimental results were unexpected, and all groups got positive values, but those who had been married for more than one year were lower than those in the other two groups. All the people present gave their partners a good score, even though they still had pain and suspicion about intimacy-- But when you calm down, you find that your partner is not as unbearable as you think, but after getting along for a long time, we gradually ignore each other's good, and magnify each other's "bad". The philosopher Alan de Bolton once said: "A lot of the pain in marriage comes from the misleading romantic view of love." The romantic view of love makes us believe that we will meet a perfect partner who can save our poverty, dispel our loneliness and bring us a happier experience than ever before. No matter how good the original Ta is, you will still be disappointed after getting along for a long time: the shortcomings you haven't found are emerging little by little. Marriage is broken, and constant quarrels and frictions make us feel that we have found a "wrong person". And the longer the time, the stronger the feeling of pain. But we know very well that no one is perfect, and neither is our partner. We can't find a person who is 100% satisfied, and we can't find someone who will satisfy us forever. Any certain relationship is bound to go through the polish of time and the test of time. Perfect marriage is rare, unsatisfactory is the norm of marriage. No matter how we choose, it may be "wrong". With such psychological construction, we will lower our expectations of our partner. To understand the nature of marriage is to embark on a "right path" with that "wrong person". Recently, with the popularity of the variety show "Brother through difficulties", Lee Seung-hyun's wonderful performance repeatedly appeared on the hot search. The sweet marriage between him and his wife Qi Wei envied everyone even more. They watched a period of interaction and felt deeply. Lee Seung-hyun said: "the first time I saw you, you are not my type." Seeing Qi Wei's serious face, Lee Seung-hyun said nervously: "it's not because of my appearance, it's purely because of you, your character, your attitude, your mode of thinking!" Qi Wei also played a round game: "therefore, not like the type can also try to get along, do not beat others to death with a stick." At this time, both of them giggled with laughter because they really knew what the other was trying to say. There is a saying that appreciation of a person begins with appearance, respects talent, matches character, and lasts longer than character. Appearance can be attracted in an instant, and promises can be blurted out at the moment of marriage. But whether a person is reliable or not and whether the living habits of both parties fit each other can only be known through a long period of experience and running-in. Marriage is not a watershed, telling us that we no longer have to take care of our relationship. On the contrary, it is just the beginning, which means that two people have to work harder. In the interview, Yi Lijing asked Lee Seung-hyun: "what do you want to say to yourself at the age of 50?" Lee Seung-hyun gave a simple answer: "all the choices are right." Whether the other person is the right person or not is not necessarily certain at the moment of marriage, but it will verify the original answer a long time later. It is after countless disputes, resentment, the idea of divorce, and even the impulse to "strangle" each other, I gradually find that the other person is still an inseparable part of my own life. The family built by two people becomes harmonious in running-in and strong in wind and rain. "all choices are right" is the answer to the promise many years later, and it is the medal that strives to get close to each other. Marriage is a moment, but marriage is a lifetime. Only mutual understanding and acceptance, tolerance and fulfillment, is the recipe for a happy marriage. Many people say that marriage is not as long as the older generation. There is a widely spread saying: "because in the past, when things were broken, they always wanted to fix them, but now they only want to change them." I was deeply impressed by this, because I saw the answer in my grandparents. Grandma and grandpa were matchmakers. They only met twice before they got married. When Grandpa joined the army when he was young, he was capable and quick-tempered and hot-tempered, but Grandma was a good-tempered and slow-tempered person. They were like fire and water, and they were always hard to get along with each other. I remember spending the summer vacation in my hometown when I was a child, my grandfather would always yell at Grandma for a little thing and say to me: "if it hadn't been for your grandmother's heart attack, I would have divorced her!" Grandma silently washed the dishes in the kitchen, didn't say a word, just didn't hear it, and still talked and laughed with me. I was really nervous at first, but then I realized that my grandfather was just "tough", but my grandmother understood him. Usually when the two stopped quarreling, they would get together to talk about the gossip of the neighborhood, tease each other twice, and laugh so much that they wrinkled and blossomed. When I was in my second year of high school, my grandfather suddenly detected a tumor. my grandfather, who was usually upright and upright, was suddenly decadent on the sickbed, skinny. Grandma ran before and after running in the hospital, taking care of shit and urine, but she was still smiling. I thought she was as optimistic and strong as I thought. When I went to the hospital to see him, he lost his old temper and couldn't stand his grandmother all his life. He whispered a word in my ear: "your grandmother, she is a good person." This is Grandpa.The first sentence of "love words", but also the last sentence. A month later, Grandpa left. On the day of the funeral, grandma didn't come out to see her off. our children and grandchildren were downstairs. I caught a glimpse of my grandmother upstairs by the window. She just stared blankly downstairs. A few seconds later, she covered her face with her hands. It was the first time I saw my grandmother cry. At that moment, I suddenly realized that she had been used to swearing all her life, and there was no more. I used to think that these two people were so disharmonious, but they could endure and accommodate each other. But they quarreled all their lives and fought all their lives, but they really "loved each other" all their lives. Many people expect to find the right person, what is the right person, no one can give an answer. Some people say that they are the right match and have the same temper, but you will find that even so, it may not last a long time. No matter how marriage is chosen, it is wrong, but as long as it goes on, inch by inch, it will be right. Marriage is not perfect, but it is still worth fighting for. As the saying goes: "when flowers bloom on firewood, rice, oil and salt, poems are written in trifles, and life goes on noisily, marriage is right." If you love the people around you, it will be wrong, and it will be wrong to the end. Don't indulge in your past choices, let alone regret that you didn't have time to cherish them. The playwright Bernard Shaw once said: "if you want to get married, get married. If you want to be single, stay single. Anyway, you will regret it in the end." There are too many things in life easy to regret, say the wrong words, love the wrong person, get married wrong. Things that are beautiful at first often end up very ugly. When we try to repair the marriage, not everyone can cooperate well. Some people try to transform each other, some people try to bind each other, and some people hurt each other at all costs. In the end, the strongly twisted melon is not only not sweet, but also may rot the seedlings. In fact, marriage is when two adults decide to live together. If you live well and everyone is happy, if you try your best and fail to do well, then calmly let go. When you do not regard marriage as a "life event", there will be no unrealistic expectations, let alone unspeakable fears. "Don't take marriage too seriously." this is the best attitude towards marriage. You know, marriage is a part of life, but it is definitely not the whole of life. The important thing is that life should always go uphill and grow up in marriage, but it only adds an identity. When we are strong enough and mature enough, we will meet another strong person, walk side by side, grow together, and sing in the journey of life. If you are lucky enough to meet, may you take pity on the person in front of you, and if not, may you go forward without fear of wind and rain. May you work hard all your life, be loved all your life, and have all the hustle and bustle of the road ahead, turn into a breeze and bright moon, and get what you want.
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