The most lasting relationship is not the agreement of the three values, but the indifference between right and wrong.
May the people around you be with you for a long time.
I often hear people say that people with the same values are the same people, and they should be acquainted with those who share the same values. But everyone's birth experience is different, the environment is different, it is difficult to be completely consistent in the concept. There is no perfect soul in the world, and all good relationships need to be managed with heart. In a truly mature relationship, the three values should not be exactly the same. The important thing is not to contend with right or wrong. Not fighting for right or wrong is the greatest filial piety to parents. Someone on the Internet once asked, what is the most regrettable thing you have ever done? A netizen shared his story at the bottom of the post. He said: as a child, I think sometimes what hurts my mother the most is to argue with her in front of right and wrong. The netizen's mother, who is in her seventies, often goes to the supermarket to stand in line early in the morning for a few free eggs, but her mother has arthritis and hurts her legs and feet when she is tired. She often has to see a doctor after waiting in line. Every time he comes back from a doctor with his mother, he will lose his temper. How much are a few eggs worth? How can you be so fussy? Mother is also very superstitious. He always likes to forward some fake health articles on moments, and he always complains about them every time he sees them, Mom, these are all fake, can you please don't embarrass me? Until one day, his mother came to him in high spirits and asked him, "I spent 500 yuan on the Internet to buy a set of black hair. Can you help me to see if my white hair is much less?" He was about to criticize when he looked up and saw his mother's white hair. Yes, the secret recipe for black hair bought for 500 yuan is useless at all. On the contrary, mother There is more white hair on my own head. But at that moment, he suddenly realized that there was nothing wrong with his mother, she was just old. The ideas used to educate him when he was a child are now so anachronistic, and the people who propped up half the sky for him when he was a child are now left behind by the times. He seems to have suddenly understood his mother. "it turned out that she wanted to save some money on eggs and thought she could have more protection. She was superstitious about articles on health preservation because she wanted to have a good health and not drag down her children." But as children, we always understand too late. We can always easily find out our parents' fault and tell them exactly what is OK and what is not. We won the truth, but in the end we got the silence of our parents. According to the Book of Rites, the first thing to do in raising a filial son is to "enjoy his heart". When we are reasonable and fight for right or wrong, we do not think that all our parents need is care and company. Many ideas and behaviors of parents may be outdated and pedantic in our eyes, but they are shaped by their past lives. It is better to empathize than to argue. Seeing the limitations of parents, understanding their fragility and being tolerant of everything is the greatest filial piety for their children. No matter how high or low, it is the best respect for friends. I have heard a saying that others respect you not because you are excellent, but because he is excellent. The more mature people are, the less likely they are to impose their own principles on others, and when they shine, they will not blow out other people's lights. Self-media author @ Xiaonan Wrote about her roommate. My roommate was well-off from an early age. Before college, he traveled to dozens of countries and got excellent grades. During his time at school, he won a scholarship year after year. As for her, she was born in a small town and has no specialty. But because they were in the same dormitory and both loved literature, they soon became friends. On weekdays, roommates like to eat western food, Xiao Nian likes roadside stalls, roommates like to read foreign classics, and Xiao Nian likes Wang Xiaobo's interesting and sharp. The two have been together for four years without any disputes. Xiao Nian once thought that she and her roommate were predestined people with the same values. It was not until they graduated and separated, that Xiao Nian got to know a lot of people in society and saw more complex human nature, that she realized that her roommate had been compatible with her values and cared about this friendship. Most of the time, we want to meet friends who hit it off, but what is even rarer than falling in love in the first place is the compromise and tolerance we have made to maintain this relationship. Comedian Charlie Chaplin has an audience friend who admires him very much. This friend is a baseball fan, he is happy to show Chaplin around his various baseball collections, and Chaplin follows in high spirits. Later, Chaplin specially asked people to find his friends' favorite baseball stars and asked for autographed baseball caps for his friends. Chaplin and this friend have very different positions and different tastes, but they are enviable for being able to do so attentively. So his friend still remembers this precious friendship until his temples are gray: "it is my greatest honor to be a friend of Chaplin in this life. It was he who made me understand what is meant by true respect and true friendship, and his personality lit up my life. " It is often easy for people to lament that people are easy to cool, and they always say that a good relationship requires the same pace, but there is no one in the world who can think and act in the same frequency. Seeking common ground is a kind of pursuit, reserving differences is the test of one's wisdom. Precious friendship, never have a sense of identity, there is no distinction between superior and inferior. What is more important than the harmony of the three values is to care about each other and operate together. A lot of times, on the way of life, you give me a hand, I cross you for a while, and in the end, we don't get lost, which is the most precious thing in the world. Not to win or lose is the greatest tenderness to your partner. In one episode of "Strange stories", a debater shared his story. Once he had a quarrel with his girlfriend over a trivial matter, and both of them thought they were right, and neither would give in. As a debater, he easily caught his girlfriend's logic loophole, so he listed arguments to refute each other one by one. Unexpectedly, as soon as he finished, his girlfriend became even angrier. It was only then that he realized that he could use his reason to suppress each other, but what his girlfriend needed was love and tenderness. When we were young, we were used to being aggressive, always crushing others with absolutely correct posture and gaining a sense of spiritual superiority. Wait until you go through the ups and downs of the world, only to know that in trivial days, respect can make a relationship last longer than winning or losing. The so-called touching story is just a warm scene created by two people who tolerate each other and create in the insipid fleeting years. Zhou Youguang, the father of Hanyu PinyinWith his wife Zhang Yunhe, one is a famous linguist and the other is a lady from a wealthy family. Two people with different identities and backgrounds never compete in life. One of them likes western musical instruments, one loves Chinese music, and the other likes coffee. Coffee, one likes to drink tea. But the two never compare whose hobbies are more advanced, and will take the time to accompany each other to do what he likes. The two will also quarrel, but Zhou Youguang's attitude is never angry, he will never blame his wife with censure, nor will he show off his knowledge. To ask them the secret of a happy marriage is probably the compromise and respect in the trivial time. The writer Ai Xiaoyang once wrote this paragraph: "instead of talking about the three values and fighting for right and wrong in an intimate relationship, you should know how to reflect and be grateful, knowing that intimacy is more important than right, and tolerance is more important than reform." Because in this world, what is more precious than love at first sight is to be accompanied for a lifetime. ▽ I have heard a saying that all relationships in the world are, in the final analysis, the relationship between you and yourself. The maturity of a relationship is inseparable from the wisdom and practice of the individual. Know how to seek common ground while reserving differences, know how to respect and understand, in order to make the feelings more warm and long in the years. May the people around you be with you for a long time.
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