True self-discipline, never rely on hard support!

there was such a problem on Zhihu: "in your impression, which misunderstanding has the deepest memory?" The most popular answer is: "I thought freedom was what I wanted to do, but then I found out that those who discipline themselves will have freedom." Life, self-discipline and non-self-discipline, will bear hardships. The difference is that the bitterness of self-discipline will make life sweeter and sweeter. As it is said in "the Road few people take": "the first solution to life's problems is self-discipline. Without this link, you can't solve any troubles and difficulties. " And true self-discipline never depends on hard support. With the right method, we can make self-discipline a habit of life. Low-intensity self-discipline It's a stepping stone to self-discipline. When it comes to self-discipline, many people will enter a misunderstanding that intensity is the core of self-discipline. If you decide to get up early, you will set the alarm clock at four o'clock in the morning; if you decide to lose weight, you will choose diet and more difficult exercise; if you decide to study, you will be required to read two books a day. Excited to set up flag, but because the intensity is too strong, has not yet begun, the heart has a fear of difficulties, automatically set up obstacles. In this way, it is difficult to take the first step, let alone long-term self-discipline. In fact, when we want to start a habit, low intensity is the key to self-discipline. Anthony Trollope, a famous British novelist in the 19th century, also said: "getting used to this thing has the power of dripping water to wear stones. A trivial daily thing, if you insist on doing it, can outperform those difficult things. " When self-discipline begins, action comes first. Set a smaller goal, minimize self-discipline, make it easier to leap from zero to one, and eventually take you to a new level. The success of the famous car king Ford also began with a small goal. When the 12-year-old was working for his father, he came up with the idea of building a machine to replace cattle and manpower. I believe that many people have had the dream of an "inventor", but such a goal is too big and too far away to put it into action. Ford, on the other hand, divided it into small goals and achieved it step by step. He started as a mechanical apprentice and asked himself to seriously study and understand the basis of machinery. With the deepening of his understanding of machinery, he began to carry out systematic mechanical training, became an excellent mechanic, and became an engineer because of his unique creativity. He has been in the mechanical industry for more than ten years. Finally, at the age of 29, he successfully built the first car engine, achieving a goal that was impossible in childhood. Habits have no size, and self-discipline has no height. As long as you are sure what is right, have the courage to start and do it every day, there will always be the power to turn decay into magic. Therefore, when you are ready to start self-discipline, set a low-intensity goal for yourself, which makes it easier for self-discipline to come into our lives without stress. Flexible self-discipline It's for a better way to continue. Some psychologists have summed up this rule: "the early stage of self-discipline is exciting, the middle stage is painful, and the later stage is enjoyable." However, most people choose to give up in the middle, leaving self-discipline above pain. I once saw a blogger on Weibo set a 30-day high-intensity self-discipline plan for himself, from getting up at 6 a.m. to going to bed at 11:00, the time is fully booked. Such self-discipline seems to be substantial and seems to work in the short term. However, he had not lasted for 30 days, and he was exhausted. The essence of self-discipline is to meet a better self, but everyone has his own range of self-discipline, and clenching his teeth and insisting on excessive self-discipline will only backfire. It is better to set up a flexible self-discipline plan for yourself so that self-discipline can be easily sustained. In psychology, there is an effect called the "broken window effect": when a bad thing or behavior occurs, our first reaction is to let it continue to go bad. We are easy to give up on the road of self-discipline, that is, the "broken window effect" is causing trouble. I had planned to keep reading for a hundred days, but on the 45 day, because I was in a bad state, I didn't read, and I thought I was an undisciplined person, and since then I gave up the original plan. The plan is to stop eating after seven o'clock and control the weight, but indulge yourself again and again after a meal. As a result, it becomes what we often call "intermittent self-discipline and continuous indulgence". Flexible self-discipline will allow us to set up a line of defense against possible "exceptions" in our minds, so as not to let it shake our plans and let the "broken window effect" have nowhere to hide. If you are not in good shape today, just read one page; if you eat high-calorie food today, take it as a reward for yourself in the near future, and continue to plan tomorrow. Don't force yourself to be a perfect self-disciplinarian, and don't ask yourself to be self-disciplined all the time. Moderate flexibility can help us release stress, make self-discipline less painful, and make it easier to stick to it. The highest state of self-discipline is to become a habit. Grandma Moses once said: "to really love yourself is not to sacrifice all your time and energy to strive for a brilliant future. Instead, in the moment, try to do what you like and what is interesting. Fill your heart with joy and let every day be spent in the way you like. " It is deeply accepted that self-discipline to the extreme brings never painful persistence, but integration with life, which can be described as symbiosis with self-discipline. The writer Yan Geling managed to make self-discipline and life complement each other. For more than 30 years, she would sit at her desk and write for six or seven hours every day; every other day, she would go swimming for 1000 meters; every year or two, her name would appear on best-selling bookshelves or adapted film and television works. Such a high yield comes from strong self-discipline, which is bitter in the eyes of others, but for Yan Geling, she enjoys this state of life, which makes life concentrated and powerful. She has the sweetness to please herself in her self-discipline. When writing, she often prepares high-end manuscript paper, which can make her more energetic; dry cotton socks can make her feel comfortable when writing; and spicy noodles and aged red wine are the ritual of writing. Finally, I will take a comfortable bath in the big bathtub to comfort myself from a day's work. This is the highest state of self-discipline. On the other hand, when self-discipline requires "persistence"It is always easy to give up halfway. Because persistence requires willpower, and people's willpower is limited. But to turn self-discipline into a habit, you no longer need the support of willpower, it is essential as a part of life. As Haruki Murakami said: "when self-discipline becomes an instinctive habit, you will enjoy it." This stage of self-discipline is really your self-discipline. True self-discipline never depends on hard support. Wang Xiaobo said: "all people's pain is essentially anger at their own incompetence, and self-discipline is precisely the fundamental way to solve the pain of life." True self-discipline, never use pain as the background, with the right method, it can be easily sustained. Start self-discipline with the simplest things. Everyone has different energies, and self-discipline will be different. Self-discipline according to one's strength is the right way to open the door of self-discipline. If you want to work out for an hour every day, but always run aground because you are busy, you might as well set a low goal and do five jumps before going to bed every day. In one minute, you can achieve your goal without pressure, and if you are in good condition, you can overdo it. If you want to remember fifty words a day, but are too slow to act because of the large quantity, it is better to set an easy goal of remembering two words a day. This goal can be achieved in any fragment time, and if you are not careful, you will get a double sense of achievement. With such self-discipline, it is easier to start and stick to it in order to form a habit of self-discipline. Lower the threshold of self-discipline The pursuit of perfection has always been a huge stumbling block on the road to self-discipline. Lowering the threshold of self-discipline can make self-discipline last longer. Do not rigidly adhere to the form, not bound by time, occasionally not finished, it does not hurt. Walking home from work is not as effective as the gym, but walking is better than not walking. Reading on the subway, although surrounded by noise, is better than no reading at all. If it is not accomplished at once, the big goal will not be changed, so keep up your efforts. When we no longer pursue perfect self-discipline, we will find that self-discipline is not difficult. Make self-discipline an instinct The process of self-discipline is the process that allows you to choose between the happy things in the moment and the right things. After the catalysis of time, the right will produce a higher level of happiness, and self-disciplined people can also feel the freedom brought by self-discipline. People who get up early and go to bed early feel healthy in self-discipline. People who often read feel the richness of their hearts in self-discipline. When self-discipline becomes an instinct, it becomes a habit, a hobby, and such self-discipline is everywhere. Mr. Yang Jiang said: "how much gold can be refined from stubborn iron? However, with different degrees of exercise, there must be different degrees of achievement; different degrees of indulgence will lead to different degrees of stubbornness. " The same is true of self-discipline. No matter how low the intensity of self-discipline, it is also a victory. Lower your goals and let self-discipline take the lead; let go of flexibility and let self-discipline continue to the end. May we feel the freedom and happiness brought by self-discipline and make self-discipline a part of life and live together with self-discipline. One book a week is released by authorization.

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