May you learn to let go of your distant feelings and try to cherish the people around you for the rest of your life.
A volume of books every night
see a sentence on the Internet:
"the way adults end a relationship is not quarrel and collapse, but silent alienation."
when adults break up, they are all quiet.
there was no farewell with great fanfare, and there was no heartbreaking plea for retention.
just in the tacit understanding, from talking about everything to being relatively speechless, from being inseparable to being apart from each other.
not noisy, not flamboyant, and withdraw from their lives lightly.
if you ask questions, you might as well exit quietly
there is a problem with Zhihu:
"if a person doesn't reply to your message, should he not send it to him again?"
highly praised answer hit the nail on the head:
"it is impolite to keep knocking on the door that does not open, and not replying is a reply in itself."
in a relationship, silence often represents the end.
told a story.
she used to be as close as a sister to Fa Xiao.
the two go to school, play and accompany each other through the green years every day.
after graduating from college, Fa Xiao stayed in her hometown to get married and have children, while she went to Shanghai to work alone.
at first, they would often get in touch with each other and talk to each other.
but since she moved into the new department, the leader did not like her, and her colleagues squeezed her out, leaving her with a lot of chores, often working overtime until the wee hours of the morning.
exhausted, she has no time to grow up at all.
when Fa talked to her about her parents, she always perfunctorily said a few words impatiently, and even found an excuse to hang up the phone.
over time, she no longer contacted her when she sent a urine, and there was no interaction in moments.
later, she learned from others that Fa had divorced and lived alone with her children.
she hurriedly sent a small message to her, asking her how she was doing recently, but the other party was slow to reply.
it turns out that the relationship has long come to an end in her intentional or unintentional estrangement.
as one NetEase comment said:
"the adult farewell ceremony is very simple. I didn't reply to your last message, and you tacitly didn't send it again, and just disappeared into each other's lives as if you never knew each other."
Adult feelings are fragile and cannot stand the test of time and space.
maybe one day, you will ignore the happiness I share, and I will no longer listen to your troubles;
I don't know what you like, and you're not interested in the topics I care about;
you have made new friends, and I have made new bosom friends.
there is no contradiction, no quarrel, but we know in each other that we are in different circles, and we can only drift apart on the way.
but life is a process of constantly parting and meeting.
some memories will fade sooner or later, and some relationships can no longer go back to the past.
if you keep asking, all you get is perfunctory or deceit.
fate is determined, and it is better to let nature take its course and quietly exit and let all the stories come to a successful end.
A decent farewell is better than a hard struggle.
writer Zhang Xiaoxian said:
"A person's greatest weakness is not being selfish and affectionate, but being paranoid in loving someone who doesn't love himself."
you can't force what doesn't belong to you; if it doesn't suit your relationship, you can't keep it.
people's hearts have changed, feelings are gone, and the more entangled they are, the more embarrassed they will be.
it is better to let it go and leave yourself with dignity and decency.
in Lu Yao's novel Life, Liu Qiaozhen, a rural girl, falls in love with Gao Jialin, an educated youth.
in order to get close to each other, she put down the reserve of traditional women and paid no attention to other people's gossip.
when she saw him go to the market to sell bun, no one was interested, so she secretly bought it herself.
she changes several clothes a day and dresses up freshly and cleanly, just to get his attention.
Gao Jialin was moved by her enthusiasm and promised her a future.
but love comes and goes quickly.
Gao Jialin entered the county seat and became a reporter.
he began to dislike Qiaozhen's vulgarity and ignorance and fell in love with his educated and cultured old classmate Huang Yaping.
when he broke up with Qiao Zhen, he thought Qiao Zhen would cry and embarrass himself.
but Qiao Zhen knew that his heart was gone and that he would only embarrass himself.
she couldn't give up, swallowed the pain, and left him decisively, without even looking back.
there is a good lyrics: only if you say goodbye to the wrong person can you meet the right person.
after breaking up with Gao Jialin, Qiao Zhen met the horse bolt who loved her deeply and finally got the happiness she wanted.
"God didn't give it to me, no matter how much I linked my fingers, it still leaked. Give it to me, no matter how much I miss in the past, I will have it. "
if the relationship is not two-way, no matter how entanglement and retention are in vain.
bind each other with pay and trap yourself with obsession, and you will only lose both sides in the end.
dead wood is hard to meet in spring, and broken mirrors can hardly be reunited.
it is better to disturb each other than to disturb each other
when Alec Su took part in a variety show, he mentioned the members of the Little Tiger team.
he is also shouting about his former teammates on the social platform to have dinner sometime.
Chen Zhipeng, who had not been seen for a long time, responded to him enthusiastically.
later, the reporter asked Chen Zhipeng if he could see the three men fit together again, but he denied it.
he said: "the response is only out of politeness, rarely see each other in private, and do not contact."
this slightly lonely answer is not surprising.
many years ago, they were close brothers and honorable partners.
with the decline in the popularity of the Little Tigers, Wu Qilong moved to the mall, Alec Su devoted himself to film and television, and only Chen Zhipeng's career collapsed.
but in front of and behind the scenes, Chen Zhipeng never took the initiative to disturb two old friends.
We are no longer on the same road. Instead of disturbing each other's peace, it is better to keep our distance silently.
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this is true of friends, and so is lovers.
truly mature people will cherish it when they are together and let it go after they are separated.
my friend A Nan and his ex-boyfriend fell in love on campus for six years, from high school to college graduation.
later, Anan decided to go to the big city, her boyfriend stayed to work in his hometown, and the two broke up because of a different place.
A few years later, the other person fell in love, but she remained single.
there is clearly a common circle of good friends and overlap, but the two never have any overlap.
the best way to end a relationship is to leave each other alone and be well with each other.
Life always seems to be full of regrets, holding hands, will let go; loved ones, will be separated.
but welcome to and from, this is the norm in the world.
We are destined to meet a lot of people, some can accompany you to the end, some can only teach you to grow up.
as said in "Don't disturb is my tenderness":
"very often, those who should let go have to let go, and those who should face have to face. It is each other's destiny to love or not to love, to be together or to part. "
there is no room for you in the other person's world, and your joys and sorrows have nothing to do with the other person.
I have heard such a passage:
"every relationship in the world is the same as food, with a date of production and a date of deterioration.
when you get it, you should be happy for its freshness, and when you lose it, you should be calm for its efforts. "
some people can't stay, and some fate will be broken eventually, so you don't have to worry about the irreparable loss.
if you are lucky enough to take a ride, then treat each other sincerely; if you have no choice but to part, then leave with dignity.
, may you learn to let go of your distant feelings and try to cherish the people around you for the rest of your life.
be grateful for all the encounters and let go of all regrets before you have the courage to go to the next mountain and sea.